Have you ever seen the original 1950s Mr. Clean commercial, the one with the catchy song? It starts out by singing “Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime and grease in just a minute./ Mr. Clean will clean your whole house and everything that’s in it!” I won’t write out the whole thing here, but a male and female singer go back and forth asking if Mr. Clean can clean this and that, which of course, the answer is always that he can, until they get to the last question, which is, “Can he clean a diamond ring?/ Mr. Clean cleans anything!” Anything? Really? Hold on, let me get on the phone to P&G real quick. Hello? Yes, my name is Michael, and I’d like to order two hundred gallons of Mr. Clean. I’d like it dumped on a TV studio lot owned by the CW. There’s a huge mess there. Which lot? Oh, it’s called Riverdale.
Well, folks, it’s finally happened. After seven years, 155 episodes, a 13-episode spinoff, and a novel, “Once Upon A Time” is finally over. Despite it being my 32nd Showcase written more than two years ago, the stuff I wrote about it was still relevant right up to the end, which I think shows a great deal of consistency with the show itself. But was the ending any good? And how about the final season in general? Here’s just a few thoughts I have about how the show ended.
Why the heck am I writing about a game show? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s because I am a huge fan of the Candy Crush mobile game. Every week, fifteen new levels are released, and every week, without fail, I make it to the last level, which at the time of this writing is nearing 2,700. So I got a little excited when the game show was announced to be coming to TV. Until, that is, I realised what a horrible idea that was. And still is. Let me explain why this show is not only terrible, but also rigged. And no, this isn’t a TV Showcase. A show like this isn’t really worth one.
Okay, a couple of things. Yes, I know this picture is old, but it’s the best I can do. Also, I was going to focus alot on the Sherlock Holmes book canon and launch my proposed writing series, but I just don’t know enough English nuances to be able to write something like that. I can only identify entertainment techniques. So that writing series won’t be happening. The last thing I’ll mention is… oh yeah, Sherlock just ended. And before people start freaking out and saying “But the ending was awful” or “There’ll be a series five, just wait!”, here’s what I’ll say to those fanboys and fangirls and fanothers when the time comes. …that “fanothers” was a joke, by the way. I realise that any given blog reader might or might not have caught that. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about “Sherlock“.